The New Me

It's been a very long time since I have felt the need to write. And, life has certainly been different in 2012! I feel like a new person. I love this person so much more too!

It took me a very long time to get past some issues from 2011. But, I'm done with them. I don't need that in my life. It's their loss, and someone else's gain. I have found myself enjoying the things that I used to and so many more!

I could not be more thankful for the people that have been there for me in the last few months and helped me get through so many things! You all are my world, and I would do anything for you.

Life is going quite well at the moment. Student teaching is flying by, job applications are calling my name, guard season is right around the corner, and October will be here before I realize it!

There are things in life still that make me sad, but I get thru it day by day with the people that I love and the people that love me.

Everything seems to be falling in place, and I'm so excited to see where everything goes.

The goal is to start writing again once a week. It's such good therapy and I almost forgot how good it felt.

So.. until next time!

Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

2012 Resolutions

2012 Resolutions

Nothing is really very specific, but I think that's going to be the beauty in it all. 

work out 3 days a week

start running 

 eat healthier

relax more

be a better role model

let loose more

don't sweat the small stuff

be happy

i carry your heart with me

This is one of  my favorite poems.

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

By E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

I go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                            i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the starts apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Things change in a heartbeat

Over the last few weeks things have taken a wonderful turn for the better :)

School is done- finally! Winter guard has started. I've met some great people in the last few weeks, and the more time I spend with them the more I forget about you. And, it makes me glad to forget about you. I've been so much happier without obsessing about the day you told me everything that is wrong with me or that I could do better.  I will still always be thankful for what we had though because you were such a large part of my life for a very long time. You showed me a different side of life that I love, and helped me get through so many things. But, I know now that time is over, and it is time for me to move on to bigger and better things. 

I'm excited to keep moving on, and to start new adventures. 

I'm ready for the next chapter in my life :)

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

I am so incredibly thankful for the people that I have had in my life; past, present, and future. 


I've learned something important from all of them. The thing that I need to remember though is that some people are not meant to stay in your life forever. They serve a purpose, do their job, and then move on. I can't be sad they aren't a part of my life physically anymore though because the things that they have given me I will always have. 


I've had this for a while, and I always seem to stumble across it when times get tough. It always is a good reminder to be thankful for who I have in my life. And right now, I couldn't be more thankful for all of the ones I do. 

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is,

you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty;

to provide you with guidance and support;

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

It's funny how things work out.

So almost 10 minutes after I wrote the last post I found something out that just was not what I was expecting to hear. It wasn't anything awful, but not really anything good- not in my eyes. It just was not something that I had ever thought about. It did not turn out to be one of my finest moments haha

But a lot of good came out of that night. I finally started to get angry. I hadn't really gotten angry about this whole thing yet, and I finally did. I never in a million years thought that I would say that I'm glad that this happened, but I think I am. I've really gotten to know myself again over the last 2 months. In this last month I've been a lot happier than I was before, and it had nothing to do with you or what happened. It was because I made the decision to not let things get to me. Things are going pretty well with school, money is always going to be an issue but I'm getting it figured out, I've gotten to spend a lot of time with my friends and met some great new ones too. I'm most definitely coming back into my own.

So I guess I'm almost saying thank you... I'm not exactly sure what for yet lol but I feel like owe you a thank you. If not for the last 2 months for the 3 years before that.

I learn something every time this happens. The first time- to be completely honest. The second- to just be me and not worry so much and just be happy.

I plan on doing exactly that too. I'm just going to be me. I'm not going to worry about the things I have no control over. I'm just going to be happy :)

Positive Thoughts

Things are really starting to turn around :) The days are getting easier, and so are the nights. I have the best friends to thank for that too!

I'm getting ready to wrap up my last semester of classes before I student teach and I seriously cannot believe it. It doesn't seem real that I'm (hopefully) going to have my own classroom by August!

I'm really starting to come back into my own and remember what I love about life, and about myself. I didn't realize how much I had changed and tried to become this person that I thought people wanted me to be over the last 3 years. I try to remind myself everyday that I have to live my life for me and not for anyone else. Otherwise, it's not my life.

Keeping positive has been one of the biggest things that has helped me get through this all. I've had a lot of people in the last month or so thank me for it too.. I was so caught off guard by it. I really did not think that it was going to make a difference to anyone, but I'm glad that I could help others out :)

The whole deal with the positive posts was really my way of trying to remind myself that even though things are happening around me that I don't like and don't understand I don't have to be someone I don't like. There are so many other good things in life that you have to remember. If you look at the bad all the time eventually it is going to consume you. So instead I've spend a lot of time really thinking and focusing on the positive :)

I cannot wait to get this semester wrapped up, and to head home and relax for a little before diving back into winter guard, and getting started in the classroom! So many great things about to start :)