Last week was a lot harder than I thought it would be. You looked really good. It was so good getting to see you. Even if for most of the evening we spent it pretending we didn't know each other. It felt really good to see you smiling and laughing even if it didn't have anything to do with me. Seeing you happy made me happy that night.
I miss you every day though. Every night I pray for God to help me make it through the next day. I pray for you every night too. To keep you and your family safe. To help you find whatever it is that you are looking for. When I really miss you I pray for God tell you that I'm the right choice. But, I know that's wishful thinking.
One day one of your friends told me they thought you made a huge mistake, and that you really didn't have a good reason. I wish sometimes you thought you did too. But, I don't know how to get past some of the things you said to me that night. I never in a million years thought you would hurt me so badly. I just wish that I could erase it all and rewind time, and go back about 6 months and make a different choice. A choice that I'm pretty sure had I made we would still be together.
There really are no words to explain it all, and how I feel.
I just really miss you tonight. I pretend you miss me too.
But, really it's all just wishful thinking.
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